


Follow The Screams

by orphan_account



Category: Podcasts - Fandom, The Penumbra Podcast, Wolf 359 - Fandom, the bright sessions
Genre: Crack Fic, Crossover, Gay, M/M, Podcast, podcasts, shitposting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-10 19:16:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8931691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When three similar men meet in the city, what powers will reveal themselves?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Actually just podcast shitposting. These characters would never be in the same place, time, or even universe, but...its fanfiction, don't destroy my dreams

"We should stop by Earth, just for a weekend Juno."  
He remembered that soft voice in his ear, suggesting the trip to him so late at night. If it weren't for Peter's impossibly silky voice, Juno Steel might have avoided this knife that was being held against his throat. 

The man holding that knife had wanted to go back to earth for so long, but now would pay to be back on the Hephaestus.

And the third man, standing above both of them laughing. It really was his fault, wasn't it? There were a lot of things that were his fault.   
"Well, Mister Eiffel. You really are a violent man."

Both men on the ground spoke.  
"Fuck you Damien."


	2. Parallels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this before Desperate Measures and man....that epsiode was so emotionally destroying. So...lets pretend that didn't happen and everyone's happy and Jacobi and Eiffel are happy, Minkowski and Lovelace (cri) and Maxwell (why) and Hera are totally hanging out in another part of the city and Hilbert (ahhhhhh) is doing good science and Kepler is suffering in a hole somewhere.
> 
> Edit: I wrote THAT before Boléro. Something else to pretend: Lovelace was a human the whole time. She's ok and human now. Totally.

That morning had been calm, quiet and soft. Doug Eiffel and Juno Steel had both awoken just blocks away from each other. Both in a hotel room, both with a strong arm wrapped around them. Both squeezing that arm tightly, as if letting go would make it disappear. Half an hour later, one of them had left their room.

"Man! I haven't had actual coffee in forever. Oh sweet, sweet caffeinated bliss."  
"Hey, slow down drinking that. You're going to spill that all over...never mind."

Jacobi rolled his eyes as coffee spilled down Doug's chin. It covered his shirt, but he didn't seem to care. As gross as it was, it was also kind of cute. Jacobi smiled at his boyfriend. 

"So, museums, maybe sight seeing..."  
"What are you talking about?! We're on Earth, Jacobi. Earth! Who cares about all that boring pushy stuff, I wanna just...be here. On land. Beautiful, safe land."  
"You can go hug a few trees and make out with the grass. I'm going sight-seeing. Be back at the hotel by two." 

A soft kiss was placed on Eiffel's cheek as Jacobi left the coffee shop. The first few minutes were spent marveling at the wonder of Earth. He had most of the day to himself! On Earth for the first time since...  
Anne. He looked at the cars, the buildings, the people walking by. It was all starting to be too much. In the middle of the city he stood, breathing deeply.  
"Hera, I-"

Right. Earth. Not the Hephaestus. What would he do? What could he do? His thoughts sped up, going a million miles a minute, when a man walked directly into him. 

"Hey buddy you wanna watch where you're walking?"  
"Maybe you shouldn't stand in the middle of the sidewalk."

They looked at each other. Similar voices, postures, expressions. Eiffel's mind was rushing for words, when the other man spoke.

"Guessing you haven't been on Earth for a while?"  
"No, how could you-"  
"Your clothes. Not exactly what everyone else is wearing."  
"Huh. Observant. You some kind of detective?"

That resulted in a chuckle.

"The name's Juno Steel. Private eye."

Eiffel regarded the man with new interest. 

"So, you haven't been on Earth for a while. Where were you?"

"Orbiting a star and plummeting to my death on the regular."

Juno laughed. This man was someone he could get along with. They continued talking, and absentmindedly made their way to a large park bench. They whiled away the day talking and trading stories of their eventful lives.

"Hey fellas, the names Damien, you don't mind if I sit down? Of course you don't."

They had moved over, making space for him before he had even asked.


	3. The Fight

The three exchanged names, with Damien cunningly smiling through it all. Eiffel was glad to have met two new people, but Juno was suspicious. It was his job to be suspicious, and Damien was definitely someone to watch out for. After a little while, Damien sighed.

"Listen, you're both very nice, and I'd love to keep on chatting but...I need some entertainment. A mysterious detective and a jaded astronaut? It's too perfect."

He tossed a small knife to Eiffel, who caught it with a confused and terrified expression.

"What the hell is-" "You know what to do."

Eiffel turned to tackle Juno, but Juno was fast. They were immediately on the ground, angry but not sure why.

"Why exactly are you so mad at me, Doug?"  
"Yeah, you're not going to call me that. And can't you see how...horrible...you are..."

His sentence trailed off, as he wasn't really sure why he was mad. Damien just laughed.

"Have neither of you realized what's going on? What's controlling you? Or...who's controlling you?"

It clicked in both of their minds at the exact same time, even as Eiffel continued to hold the knife against Juno's throat.

"Well, Mister Eiffel. You really are a violent man."

Both men on the ground spoke.

"Fuck you Damien."

"How are you doing it?"

"I think the more important question is why he's doing it."

Damien continued laughing. As he did, three voices spoke. 

"Juno what on Earth...!"

"Doug Eiffel what the hell are you doing with that knife?!" 

The third voice was laced with anger and outrage, but most prominently, annoyance. 

"Robert stop controlling those men, wipe that smile of off your face and for god's sake, give me back my butterknife."

"Doctor B, what are you doing here?"

"Now"

The woman turned apologetically to the group of four men.

"I'm really sorry about him."

"No trouble at all, being almost killed by a 'jaded astronaut' is one of the least traumatic things I've been through."

"Is that a compliment or an insult?"

Juno smirked and simply nodded before walking away with Peter. 

That night, two men asked the same question. Another two men gave the same answer.

"How did you figure out where I was?"

"I followed the screaming and evil laughter. Just made sense that you'd be the source of it."


End file.
